Jackie says: And the winner is -- Shari C! :) Please email me at J A X aht J A C K I E K E S S L E R daht C O M, and I'll send you a signed copy of HB, plus some spiffy B&W swag.
Of Devils and Details
Let’s say you’re an enterprising sort who’s decided the best way to get ahead of the game is to sell your soul to the Devil. Terrific short-term prospects; unlimited fringe benefits over the course of your life (however limited that lifespan may end up being). Whether you’re a lawyer or an author or a politician, this could be your winning ticket. All it takes is a dollar and a dream, right? Or a contract and a pen?
But they don’t tell you HOW you’re supposed to actually get that ball rolling. Seriously. Do you look up “Devil, The” in the phonebook? Maybe go to www.theabyss.com? Call 1-666-OH-SATAN? You’d think it would be more straightforward for those who wanted to sign away their souls, wouldn’t you?
And assuming you can rustle up Old Nick or a demon to do the Big Bartering, what are you supposed to use when you sign your soul away? Virgin blood? Is that an air-quotes “virgin”? Or is symbolism enough and a splash of extra virgin olive oil on the contract will do? Or is that only for people who love Italian food? Do you know how tough it is to find virgins these days?
When you sign the contract, do you have to provide your Social Security number and two forms of picture identification? Like you’re going to lie, when you’re bargaining with Satan? If the Devil is as omniscient as the Almighty, then shouldn’t the Devil know if you’re committing contract fraud? For that matter, if you commit contract fraud when you’re signing your soul away, is that an automatic ticket to Heaven?
And is there a soul-back guarantee?
If you sell your soul, do you become an actual demon when you die, or merely one of the damned? Being a demon sounds like it has perks; being damned, not so much. Is that covered in the fine print? For that matter, what does Hell do with your soul? Wallpaper the bathroom? Eat it? Recycle?
What are some nitpicky questions you’d have if someone (not necessarily you) decided to sell their soul? Leave your answers in the comments . . . and on Halloween, I’ll pick one commenter at random to win a signed copy of HELL’S BELLES, plus spiffy swag for my upcoming co-authored superhero novel, BLACK AND WHITE.