Excerpt: Sex in a Coffin [short story that takes place right after The Vampire Shrink]
“So,
Dr. Knight,” Elliott said, “we’ve been very excited to meet you. You know of
course that Devereux has been waiting for your arrival for centuries.” He toyed
with a large, ruby ring on his middle finger. It looked like one of those with
a hidden compartment for poison. “I suppose that does put a lot of pressure on
you. Talk about performance anxiety.”
Performance anxiety? How about every-day
terror?
His
eyes widened. “Anyway,” he continued, “Devereux tells us you counsel both
humans and vampires. Quite frankly, I don’t know how you can stand to listen to
all those sad, negative stories all day and night. Don’t you get overwhelmed? I
could tell you stories that would curl your hair. Oh, wait.” He lifted a
section of my hair. “Too late.”
He
and Laurence high-fived again.
I
focused on counting backward from one-hundred, so I wouldn’t have any stray
thoughts.
“That
is a good question, my love. Do you feel depleted by the unhappy tales your
clients tell?”
Devereux
really was patient with them. I was grateful he’d brought the conversation to
something I could actually discuss. “No. I’m not burned out yet. I still enjoy
the challenges of my work. I’m accustomed to human diagnoses and neuroses.
Nothing about mortals really surprises me anymore. But vampires? Stress city.”
Reality check: I’m sitting at a table full
of vampires, talking about how stressful counseling vampires is.
“Oh,
my,” Lawrence said. “Diagnoses, neuroses. I just love when you speak
psychology. It’s such a turn-on.” He fanned himself.
“Excuse
me, uh, Mr. Devereux?” said a throaty, female voice.
We
all shifted our attention to the bald woman resting a hip against the edge of
our table. Her shiny scalp, along with the rest of her exposed skin, was
covered with tattoos: colorful, mystical symbols and vampiric images. A
rendering of two round dots dripping blood decorated the side of her neck. She
might have had the biggest breasts I’d ever seen on a non-airbrushed woman, and
the tiny bra-top she wore wasn’t likely to survive a deep breath. It was
amazing she could even move in the skin-tight leather pants that completed her
ensemble.
Here
we go again.
It
never failed. Whenever Devereux showed up at his club, or anywhere public,
women couldn’t control themselves. They felt compelled to get close to him.
Even he didn’t know exactly what
caused the phenomenon: whether it was because he was a Master, and one of the
older ones, or if it was simply his own specific energy. Or, more likely, his
obvious attributes. I’d quickly gotten over any initial jealousy after noticing
how cold – no pun intended – the encounters left Devereux. But, I did find it
rude and annoying. On the other hand, if certain, suggestible women couldn’t
help themselves . . . I knew how it felt to be under someone else’s power.
The
woman locked eyes with Devereux and her breathing quickened.
“Yes?”
he asked, his gorgeous face a polite mask. He removed his arm from around me
and folded his hands on the table.
Hmm.
Does he expect to have to wrestle her down?
“My
friends and I,” she pointed behind her to a group of giggling women, all
tattooed and pierced like the speaker, “we’d really like to kiss you.” She
leaned in, her bodacious mammary glands leading the charge, lips pursed in
anticipation.
Personality disorder? Hypersexuality in a
manic phase?
Devereux
signaled his club manager Luna. Dressed in her usual tight, black leather, she
oozed hostility and sensuality. Her long dark hair moved like silk, her silver
eyes painted in a multi-hued extravaganza. She stalked like a predator toward
our booth. “Luna, please escort our guests out of the club and make sure they
arrive home safely.”
“Yes,
Master.”
“Are
you sure, Devereux?” Laurence ogled the uninvited woman’s cleavage and licked
his lips. “Perhaps Elliott and I could walk them to their cars. We wouldn’t
want them to get lost . . .”
Devereux
raised a brow at the two vampires and spoke to the guests. “Ladies, it is time
to go home now.” His voice took on an even more mesmerizing tone than usual.
The group of women turned and walked stiffly behind Luna, as she led them
toward the front door.
“Perhaps
it is me,” Devereux said, frowning.
“But regardless, I do wish I could find a way to dampen the effect. It seems to
be getting worse lately. My aura is changing. I not only attract unwanted
female attention, but also violent reactions from males.” He shook his head.
“It is not wise, no matter what the reason, for any vampire to shine a
spotlight on himself.”
“I’ve
heard that’s what happens to older vampires, sometimes,” Elliott said.
“Especially Masters who’ve ingested so much powerful blood for years.”
“Yeah,”
Laurence agreed. “It’s good that you’ve now limited your food supply to humans
and vampires. Maybe you won’t turn into the Vampire Pied Piper, having humans
follow you around constantly.”
My
stomach tightened. Limited his supply to
humans and vampires? Oh. My. God. What else is there?
Devereux
glanced at our concerned faces, and I got the sense he said something
telepathically to Laurence and Elliott. “Ah, I apologize. This is a celebration
and I have darkened the mood. Let us return to a happier discussion.”
“Wait
a minute.” I took his hand in mine. “You didn’t say anything to me about these
situations getting worse. Would it be best if we didn’t go out in public for a
while? Maybe give you a break?”
Maybe
give us both a break.
“No,”
he said, his words crisp and hard. “I refuse to allow myself to be controlled
by outside circumstances. I will simply think of a way to resolve the issue,
and we will go about our normal lives.”
There’s that word again: normal. I can’t
even begin to imagine what it means to a vampire.
Devereux
put his arm around my shoulders again and squeezed gently. He turned to me. “I
am eager to tell you about my surprise. You will love it. We seldom get to
travel together, and—”
“Master?”
We
all turned toward the purring female voice.
“Luna,
my little sex goddess. You’re back.” Laurence patted his lap and leered. “Who’s
your daddy?”
She
ignored him except for raising her middle finger, and focused on Devereux.
“Master, one of the new vampires broke out of his cage and captured a couple of
humans. He’s made a total mess of the holding area – blood everywhere.” She
crossed her arms over her chest. “A complete waste of good food. The newbie
must have been turned by someone powerful because we haven’t been able to
control him. Could you come?”
There are cages for new vampires?
“Yes.
I will meet you in the sub-basement.”
Luna
gave a quick nod, then hurried away.
Devereux
turned to me, frowning. “I apologize, my love. I will return as quickly as
possible.” He lasered his gaze onto Laurence and Elliott. “Please keep Dr.
Knight company, and behave yourselves.”
Before
I could even formulate a thought, or say “Hell, no!” he vanished.
posted by Lynda Hilburn at 8:04 PM
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